Timescale for 'Being Clean'

Here’s a guide and timeline for communicating your thoughts cleanly...

  1. If it crosses your mind more than twice, process your thoughts, either internally or with someone else.
  2. If you are processing with someone else, work to make sure that the person you are processing with is as close to the source as possible. The source is the person(s) you want to communicate with; processing with someone you trust who is more familiar with the source will likely provide you with greater perspective than processing with someone who doesn’t know the source as well.
  3. Communicate the results of that processing within 24 hours (frustrations, resentments, and grudges don’t just 'go away' if you give them more time) to the source. If you’ve processed with someone else, share the result of that processing with the source.


  1. "Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
  2. Check back in with the person you processed with and update them on how the chat went!