Rescuing Others

As you progress in your practice of clean communication, you may wish to assist another being who is sinking into dirty communication...

However, rescuing someone results in both people feeling victimized, angry, and distant.

There is always the assumption in the rescuer that the other person is in some way powerless, unable to take care of themselves or - in some other way - needing support. The Rescuer takes on the role of a caretaker.

The person being rescued has lost an opportunity to learn, or expand their limits or abilities. The rescued person may feel victimized or angry as a result. In every case, the act of rescuing another person reaffirms and maintains the power imbalance between the Rescuer and the Victim and prevents the possibility of people becoming equals in the relationship.

In order to eliminate rescues, one has to believe that people are OK and capable of taking care of themselves. To offer counsel, and to nurture the other in speaking cleanly is a healthy, and privileged, position within our world.